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Reflections on my retreat

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Just over a month ago, I went on a retreat. I needed it. I made myself go. Even after The Welshman told me I should, I didn’t make my decision right away.

Nothing wrong with the retreat. The thought of spending a weekend with people I didn’t know was scary enough. Add spend that time in a one-room cabin and I’m on a ledge over the ocean. Before I could shut things down, I signed up.

Forcing yourself to do something is good medicine.

Yoga, painting and nature.

Yoga: I do chair yoga. Painting: I paint. Nature: my soul resides deep in nature’s woods and deserts.

Painting: I watched paintings bloom. And painted a blossom of my own.

Nature: she never disappoints.

So what could scare me? People, fellow fishies swimming in the sea of life.

Overall, considering my feelings about strangers, the weekend went well. I learned several things about myself. One, I need to learn to ask. Two, I really need to learn to ask. Three, I will most likely never ask.

I also learned that as an empath to surround yourself with new energies and let them pour in, is good and insanely risky.

Good, because it opens you up to the big pond of fishes we all swim with and lets us know we are all the same. Basically. now there’s a word I hate, basically. Nothing in life is really basic or accurate as we first see or experience it. It takes time to establish a baseline so basically isn’t complex enough to detail life. Hopefully, life leads us on new adventures and we are changing. Viewpoints, likes, dislikes, needs, and wants all these things should experience growth/change throughout our lives.

The retreat came on the wings of the death of a dear friend. I had no idea of how to let her go.

Do you feel grief is you know someone has suffered for a very long time? Selfishly, yes. You have lost someone. Compassionately, no. Will I miss our daily chats or texts? Yes. Will I miss trying to offer comfort when I know her pain is far beyond what most could live through? No.

The retreat gave me a sound footing with which I could deal with the loss. The storm reminded me of her fierceness and the rain washed away my tears as it fed the earth.The closeness to nature brought balance to my insecurities about being with so many unknowns. The fishies all on their own journeys finding the time to step outside their private ponds and take a dip with others in search of answers. Or for some justification.  The simple desire for a soft touch or sincere pat on the back, maybe just a kind word.

The closeness to nature brought balance to my insecurities about being with so many unknowns. The fishies all on their own journeys finding the time to step outside their private ponds and take a dip with others in search of answers. Or for some justification.  The simple desire for a soft touch or sincere pat on the back, maybe just a kind word.

Kind words. How important are they? Randomly compliment someone and see.

I promised myself to do more meditating. And have. I promised to spend more time in nature and have done this as well. Alone, but at peace with myself.

Thirty days of reflection made me realize retreats are a good thing. A writers retreat is in my future. Conferences seem tied to business and hordes of people. Conventions: my pond evaporates into a single drop and I’m stuck in the mud.

Today, I wondered how many of the other fishies have been reflecting on the retreat?

I am thankful for the retreat. I am grateful to have known my friend.

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Herds

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Do we really need to be a part of a herd? In this case, a herd is people with the common desire of writing and herding according to what we write. I used to think so, immensely enjoyed the group even tho dues and such where steep (had to belong to another organization to pay to belong to another) and meeting were far away. Loved the people, but did I need the herd? No. In this day of uber-connecting and trying to find our perfect niche, We abandon ourselves a little each time.

Of course, someone will then come along and create-another niche for us. We need to make our own paths, know ourselves better than we do, and stay true. Pavlov would be proud at how we sometimes jump to the sound of the newest thing.

Read about other people who share your passion, what little they had was used to get their work out there.
The foremost that comes to mind is, Debbie Macomber. There are many more, it is just that I have met her.
We need to cull our herds and focus on our passion.

If this means sequestering ourselves away with many pots of coffee and then many pots of chamomile tea to counteract the insanity the caffeine overload has left in its wake, well hey so be it.
What brought this on? Invites to three new groups all with per-requisites of joining other groups and all with dues. Um, newsflash Photographers, writers, artists- not wealthy.

All I have of value is my imagination and it is priceless.

I am not saying don’t socialize or as writers don’t go and hang out with other writers (do miss that), but don’t make it a club.

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