empath

Reflections on my retreat

Posted on Updated on

Just over a month ago, I went on a retreat. I needed it. I made myself go. Even after The Welshman told me I should, I didn’t make my decision right away.

Nothing wrong with the retreat. The thought of spending a weekend with people I didn’t know was scary enough. Add spend that time in a one-room cabin and I’m on a ledge over the ocean. Before I could shut things down, I signed up.

Forcing yourself to do something is good medicine.

Yoga, painting and nature.

Yoga: I do chair yoga. Painting: I paint. Nature: my soul resides deep in nature’s woods and deserts.

Painting: I watched paintings bloom. And painted a blossom of my own.

Nature: she never disappoints.

So what could scare me? People, fellow fishies swimming in the sea of life.

Overall, considering my feelings about strangers, the weekend went well. I learned several things about myself. One, I need to learn to ask. Two, I really need to learn to ask. Three, I will most likely never ask.

I also learned that as an empath to surround yourself with new energies and let them pour in, is good and insanely risky.

Good, because it opens you up to the big pond of fishes we all swim with and lets us know we are all the same. Basically. now there’s a word I hate, basically. Nothing in life is really basic or accurate as we first see or experience it. It takes time to establish a baseline so basically isn’t complex enough to detail life. Hopefully, life leads us on new adventures and we are changing. Viewpoints, likes, dislikes, needs, and wants all these things should experience growth/change throughout our lives.

The retreat came on the wings of the death of a dear friend. I had no idea of how to let her go.

Do you feel grief is you know someone has suffered for a very long time? Selfishly, yes. You have lost someone. Compassionately, no. Will I miss our daily chats or texts? Yes. Will I miss trying to offer comfort when I know her pain is far beyond what most could live through? No.

The retreat gave me a sound footing with which I could deal with the loss. The storm reminded me of her fierceness and the rain washed away my tears as it fed the earth.The closeness to nature brought balance to my insecurities about being with so many unknowns. The fishies all on their own journeys finding the time to step outside their private ponds and take a dip with others in search of answers. Or for some justification.  The simple desire for a soft touch or sincere pat on the back, maybe just a kind word.

The closeness to nature brought balance to my insecurities about being with so many unknowns. The fishies all on their own journeys finding the time to step outside their private ponds and take a dip with others in search of answers. Or for some justification.  The simple desire for a soft touch or sincere pat on the back, maybe just a kind word.

Kind words. How important are they? Randomly compliment someone and see.

I promised myself to do more meditating. And have. I promised to spend more time in nature and have done this as well. Alone, but at peace with myself.

Thirty days of reflection made me realize retreats are a good thing. A writers retreat is in my future. Conferences seem tied to business and hordes of people. Conventions: my pond evaporates into a single drop and I’m stuck in the mud.

Today, I wondered how many of the other fishies have been reflecting on the retreat?

I am thankful for the retreat. I am grateful to have known my friend.

koipond0116B